November was a roller coaster ride and December is being one too. November was a month full of small and big changes. Some changes were good, others were bad so I tried to keep myself busy so that I won't even have a second to think about situations that involved family, work and some matters of the heart. I kept myself so busy to a point where I became overly exhausted.
These two months are two of the toughest months in the school year. There are social events of all kinds and there are loads of things to do. By this time, the kids are mad monkeys who just don't want to work and teachers just start losing it. Like today my sixth graders just didn't get the grammar exercise they had to do and I was like "What do you mean you don't get it!! We did the same exercise last week over and over again" I was losing it when I got to the last class and someone asked me "how do I do it". I just looked at them, I took deep breath, made a weird facial expression, I put my hand over my eyes and said "Oh my goodness" I just started laughing and everyone started to laugh too.
I've been a busy bee this past month with other things too. I took up a painting wood crafts class on saturday mornings and I started exercising again and I have not stayed home on the weekends I've been a real vampire lately going out at night and just like my kids I have also been a mad monkey with so many things on my mind and so many things to do.
I have to start taking decisions that involve my job. The principal had a talk with a few of us and he wants many of us to go back to school and take other courses but with so many things they make us do I have no idea how I will be able to do it but I know I have to. I have also been proposed to move away and pursue another career that had been locked away in my vault of memories but has now risen up again and has come back to haunt me.
Just a few day ago, I was about to have a nervous breakdown when I lost an item that was very important to me. I had lost all hope of finding it when it magically appeared and my skies were cleared. There was so much chaos and so many things going on at once that I found myself being all bi-polar. I found myself trapped in moments of total euphoria and moments of total silence, emptyness and sadness.
I am already busy with tons of work and I kept myself even more busy by adding extra activities to my life and a few days ago I questioned myself whether I was being self-destructive or self-defying? Of course, it started off as defying myself to see if I can handle other outside activities and I found out that I can! But was I really doing this to defy myself? or was it just to get myself exhausted so that I would be able to get my mind off of things? Either way, it really helped me because I began doing things I enjoyed but it is also affecting my health cause my body feels exhausted, I feel that my attention span is low, I am easily distracted! Exhaustion is just taking over.
So the year is almost over and there are thousands of things to do and millions of things to think about. And even with all of this exhaustion, I am still having a very good time, enjoying many things and I am seeing that many opportunities will come my way so I just hope I'm not blind and miss out on anything.
Vacations are just around the corner and I just can't wait to be a slug at home. :)
